We always feel the loss whenever someone dear to us passes away. The sadness will forever be unbearable, and I bet we'll just get used to the pain that's why we'll get through each day after that. What if that 'loss' will be our own mother? That very person who carried us in their womb for 9 months, carrying the hardships and pain, sacrificing everything just to provide a good life for us? I remember very well writing something about this a year ago because a college friend's mother passed away. I wrote a little about it, but I ended up writing about my own mother in that same entry. I guess I can never really fathom how hard could it be to lose my mother.

Tita Lolita passed away last Friday. She was ngenge's mom, whom I've really grown to love too. It breaks my heart for them because I know tita has been fighting hard for her life for the longest time, but then God wanted her to rest already. I remember seeing a post on ngenge's wall where her friend shared a story on why our mothers are our angels. It says "God told a baby that he will be sent to earth. The baby anxiously asked God who will take care of him, being so small and helpless. God answered him, 'an angel will be waiting for you there. She will defend you even if it means risking her life. You will simply call her Mom.'" I guess mothers are our angels after all, sadly Tita Lolita was sent back to heaven. I really believe she lived her life to the fullest, most especially when it comes to serving the Lord. I will always remember how she always attend to church events and services, where one time we even took her to Tagaytay because she had to attend I-forgot-what-it-is-about but is for church, even on how she dedicates most of her time praying and doing things to serve Him. I love how her smile radiates to everyone else in a room, how she welcomes her children's friends and loved ones as part of her family too. I don't know, but I will never forget how she gave me ube and langka candies back then. Those are few of my favorite candies which I found it so thoughtful for her to do so because she gave me a part of what she's selling from their store. I never saw anything bad about her; all I saw is how caring and how wonderful she is even if she's beginning to age already. It's hard to lose someone like her... I may not be part of her family; but for the span of time that I get to see what kind of mother she is and on how she holds her family as one? I have no words for that. 

It's sad that I won't be able to see her again if ever I'll visit their home one day, it may not be the same as it is again but I know she'll always be looking after her family. I'm thankful enough that if not for her, I won't have the ngenge I have now, and on how I got to know her not perfect but a happy family. I'll miss you tita. I pray that you'll have an eternal peace and happiness in heaven, that you'll help your loved ones left here to continue living their life without you... it may be so hard for them to do so, but I hope you'll spread God's love and strength to them to get through this. Have a wonderful life in heaven Tita, I hope my grandparents will get to meet you there... my prayers are always with you.