Funny how my posts have its own roller coaster ride, reaching its own highs and lows. I'm actually shattered with everything that's happened and still happening right now. I'm broken and somewhat angry at the same time... most probably, on the lowest point I can describe my feelings as of this moment. Allow me to write anything for now, for it's the only way I could feel better; I hope so.

I wonder what happened, I wonder what did I do to deserve all of this from you. I wonder if I ever made you feel loved for you to say those things. I know I shouldn't have done what I did, but look at you, look at us... aren't we supposed to stick together and not count on what you did for me and throw it on my face? I'm hurting, and I guess yesterday was the most painful day of all days that we're like this. How I feel like I don't know you at all, how you can make me feel this mad that you can say those things against me. I wonder what love is for you, what pushed you to become someone that could hurt me this way. I even wonder how you could even talk about the word 'understand' when you don't even stand by what you've been talking about. I'm just so disappointed and so mad at you right now, that it makes me question if you really loved me, if you're really the person I loved after all. 

credits to infelice

It's like someone ripped all what's left of me. How could you be so mad to someone you love? Isn't love supposed to make your life better and not complicated? I thought so. I just wanted to get out of this... this pain and everything is not worth it anymore. And I'm so broken that I wanted to drown myself in alcohol and lie down in my bed the whole day....

"We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again" -- shut this up. I don't ever want to feel this pain anymore. HAAAAA. I feel stupid. I feel so damn broken and miserable. I don't know how worse each day can get.

Bring it on, pain. Help me Lord.:(