It's Friday, but I have yet to remind myself what day it is. Funny how I talked about quitting in my last entry, but God-knows-why everything happened. I wish everything was just a dream, but no... it's worst than living with a nightmare. It haunts me and that conversation plays in my head over and over each time I close my eyes. It's like I hit rock bottom and I don't know how to stand. It's depressing and helpless. All I can feel now is hate... and anger... and hate; because I simply didn't know how to fight for my very self. I wanted to cuss and throw my anger, but that won't make things better. I wish I knew how to defend myself more, I wish I told them how they suck at things... but no, I only wish that God will grant me peace and forgiveness. I don't want to live with hate, I don't want to live hating people because they caused me pain.

I wonder what the last quarter of this year has to offer, 2013's second half wasn't that good to me. It was really, really bad. I never felt depressed my whole life until the other day happened. I don't know, this entry could be thrown days after when I feel like I'm back to my senses but I really have to write this down so I could feel better. I know it won't help, but there's no harm in trying. I'm sad, real sad.  It's like my heart and my soul was ripped apart from me already... but they took away my pride. Maybe this would be the first time I will ever admit that I need saving.

Lord God, help me get through this mess. :(