If not for my year-end tradition, I won't have the guts to look back on what this year has been. Seriously, it was a year that I never wanted to be in again. It was a year full of struggle, falling, and being able to stand up with God -- aiming to become a better version of myself. I admit I still feel too sad looking back this whole year round, but I'm more than willing to look at its brighter side... I just wish I knew things better.

2013 was a year of loss. I always believed that things happen for a reason. There are times that I feel like it's just an excuse for me to be able to get through with something; but I always believed that everything has its own reason. I lost my grandmother I loved so dearly, I lost the person I chose to be with, I lost the job I am struggling to take care of, most especially I lost myself in the process of losing of all of those. It's like how could you lose almost all of the things that keeps you grounded? One by one it's falling right in front of you, failing all of the people who depends on you. Losing your strength in the process. Your self-respect while creating a mask that everything's fine even if you don't know if you could still do it. And even if you can't, you still have to push yourself to do it because you simply can't stop. I realized I haven't cried in a while. If it was the same Myles who went through all of those, she might not do anything but cry. Cry and cry. But hey, she's a strong girl now, and I'm so proud of her. 2013 might be the worst year of my existence, but it was a great year of living and fighting with God. I'm not sure how I made it standing until the end, but He made me stand until the end. I guess it's enough for wishing and hoping for something to happen already, for letting people define me. I learned that how you value yourself could define how other people will define you. It was a matter of falling seven times and standing up eight times. A battle of self-preservation and self-confidence. Things may have been hard, but what matters is how I was able to deal and cope with it. It taught me to appreciate life more, the things people do because they love me; and because they care for me. I am surrounded by lovely people, that without them I could not be writing good stuff right now... that without them, I wouldn't appreciate everything that happened to me the past year.

I am beyond blessed that God has given me 2013 for I won't be smiling while I welcome the new year ahead. It started the happiest way possible, and it ended the best way possible.:) It may have lost people on my way, but He made sure that I keep who's worth keeping. I even got to experience a new life months before the year ended. So who am I to be angry at what happened to me? I should be thankful that God loved me too much to be given challenges like those.

So goodbye, 2013. I'm sorry that I won't miss you, but thank you for a memorable year. As I embrace change this 2014, I am starting it by sharing my secret haven -- this blog that I'm keeping to myself for years already (well not exactly, because one person knew this too haha). I was afraid to be judged with my thoughts, but as what I have said earlier, I won't let people define me. So here ya go, welcome to my thoughts!

Happy new year everyone! Hope you'll an amazing year ahead. :) This is me signing off from 2013.x